If "failed adoption" is often compared to "a baby's death"?

I don't presume to know how it feels to give a child up for adoption, to have a child taken from me in any court-ordered situation, or to have an adoption fall through from the adoptive end. I can speak to the death of children at full term pregnancies, though. I do think that a significant part of what you lose when a child dies is the hope and expectation you have for them. All the wonderful things you envisioned your child doing and all the opportunities you anticipated for them-- and of course, you hoped to be part of all that they experienced. I would imagine it would be similar if a child was taken by some kind of court-ordered removal. I would grieve for myself, for the relationship we might have had. The only difference is that there's always the hope you might be able to reconnect at some point, and that he or she could still have all those opportunities of life-- just that someone else would be sharing them. I'd say the pain is probably not less or worse, just different.