Not sure if we should be together?

Im not completely sure we should stay together. We have had a very good marriage for many years. A marriage most people would be envious of. We complimented each other very nicely. We fell by the way said as most marriages do after kids..life..etc. Things that should have been discussed and worked out were not. Ive always been willing to go to counciling and to try an work out an amicable solution to the problem. Simply put i guess it come down to love and respect in our marriage. We ended up hurting each other in very detrimental ways. That old saying " we teach people how to treat us comes to mind". To any extent ive come full circle an recognize my own faults in our situation and am doing everything i can to change them behaviors. I wont say that she is not takin her own responsibility for the past but in my opinion the main thing that needs to be addressed on her part is not an option. There is no admittance to a situation she put herself in an i am having a hard time with it. We are meeting in the middle because we both still love one another an do not want to divorce but i know for me our relationship hinges on this very thing. I guess i need to hear responsibility claimed in that area freely..honestly..an truthfully on her part without any coercion or drawing it out. I value this alot in life. Ive even already forgave it but am hung up on the non admitance. I have a hard time not feeling like i was lied to an thats the worst for me. Honesty about actions an being responsible in the face of adversary is prized. I guess the question would be this. Since ive forgivin this already should i be so hung up on this tid bit of information? Im positive she does not want to tell me because shes either afraid how i will react or it would end up being the end of our relationship.